more nightime 5-14-09

I was "told" my heart would be filled.......but I had no idea to what extent.
I am humbled by HIS overflowing generosity.

It is truly amazing!!!

night time thoughts 5-14-09

I am learning how to dance again...my heart is learning how to soar!
Closing my eyes I let the music slowly carry me away.
The universe has taken my hand and asked me to dance.
It is a dance of love and I sing in unison to the music... with my heart!
Wow

I have never had the words before..... to say what is truly inside my heart.
Perhaps on this new journey of mine I will find them.

I can use them as stepping stones to find my way home.

Where I go next I do not know.......But my heart is packed and ready for the Journey :-)

My musings to the Universe

How many more tomorrows will I have?
How many more chances to be the person I think is inside my heart?
How many more mornings will I be able to have those few sweet moments of solitude to watch the day day begin?

How many more times will I stumble or fall yet I am still looked upon with kindness and patience, until I can walk upright forever?

How many more tears will I shed, or times will my heart be pulled under by the burdens this life seems to bring?

How many more times will I be LOVED completely.......before I fully understand?

Its a difficult thing to talk about when youve seen some of the other side. Though many would pass it off on some of those good drugs provided to me while in my coma, only I know for sure that it happened. Only I know for sure how it has changed my being.

I'm now trying to get some of the words out so that I may share some of that experience to others. Not one second of my life since then, has inwardly been the same. How to describe how that is????? But I am trying, and in the stillness of the night, or when I am so led, words and thoughts come to me, some I know, do need to be shared.

We all need to know that it is going to be "allright" what ever that means, to each of us.
My "allrightness" has come in the form of a peace and understanding beyond any known to me before. Did God finally show himself to me, ...well in a way - yes. Yet, it wasn't being shown, as much as it was to be a part of, the becoming ONE with. Feeling for the first time that I truly got a glimpse of understanding about what it means to be a part of that everything.
How totally cool is that?!!

So I will go on, letting it all unfold where it may. I use to feel so very protective about my private thoughts, yet in the knowing now, realize there are no private thoughts. My heart is open, I want to share that with any who may care to look within. I truly have left what I would call my comfort zone, by putting my heart on an open page, and yet by doing so I find a different kind of comfort, one that keeps me wanting more.........we will see.

Thats it, just a thought or two about where I am going with all of this. I must go now and start my day. Some musings from my recent journaling I want to put here, but will have to save that for another time.

Blessing and love to anyone who may ever somehow find this page
Dea

I think this is perhaps the first attempt at any type of poem since English class in High School. A few nights ago I couldn't sleep, and at three oclock in the morning when I was so over whelmed with what I guess was the "lightness of being", this is what I wrote. It is exactly where I was at the moment.

I Felt it Would Someday Happen

We bow to one another, you, softly take my hand.
We step into each others arms, and dance away In music, to an unseen land.

You look deep into my eyes, to see what lingers there.
You see my love looking back at you,- no worries- no cares.
I look into yours, I see exactly the same,
The Love ,The Joy, The Feeling with no name.

With your arms around me, we slowly drift across the floor
Our Hearts melt together, and I feel myself no more.
For we have come together in this dancing in the night,
Two hearts as one, slowly whirling, - whirling towards the light.

The universe, our dance floor, lit, by a million shining stars.
The music I think, must be angels, singing from afar.
I know now, I can go on forever, - this dancing with me and you.
I felt it would someday happen - always something that I knew.

Thank you for tapping me on the shoulder that wondrous and beautiful night.
I smiled, - said YES, - I knew that it was right.
I felt it would someday happen - always something that I knew.
Your love for me unending, as mine is now for you.
I felt that It would someday happen, always something that I knew.

Thank you God, for asking, thank you, through and through.
That I would someday dance forever, - knowing it would surely be with you.

Now I understand.

Words to my Soul / #1