Wispers in my Ear

In the not so long ago, I nearly lost my life, but in that losing, I seem to have found a new one.

Never have I been a poet, nor a writer of any sorts.
But for awhile now I have been talking to myself on paper, not a big deal for most people I would imagine, but definitely out of my comfort zone to be sure.
I write these for myself, but perhaps will share with someone who may ever stumble upon this page and is inclined to read.

I found that sharing is a very good thing :-)

My Homecoming Moon

My Homecoming Moon
Dec.08 2008 5:30 a.m. - I am filled with wonder and love

Monday, January 10, 2011

Small Miracles, Big Lesson

Ok Ok, so now my big 15 minutes of fame has happily come and gone ( sigh of relief!)
I was paired with two other people on this week's episode of Bio Channel's Beyond and Back, - Anthony and Matt. I have not met Matt but Anthony and I have been emailing for awhile before the show aired. He is a strong and wonderful man who now is so full of God and Love, it is evident in every post he makes online. It was an honor to be paired with them both.

Last night when I went to bed after seeing my segment air on national TV, I was happy that it turned out as well as it could for only having about 15 minutes to explain something that even an original 4 hour interview did not even cover.

When I went to bed later I was hoping again with my heart, that somehow I had done things "right" even though it may have not been the best I would have liked to of seen......did I say all I needed to to touch someone, to let them know how deep my emotions were about what had happened to me during my NDE? Perhaps I just over think it all way to much sometimes, but it is an honest account of how I felt.

About 3 am I awoke and thought I heard someone say to me......"We need to talk" of course no one was there, and when I sat up in bed, realized that perhaps I just needed to" listen" to who or what was doing the talking. For about an hour I sat in the dark of night, feeling a glowing warmth within my room, I felt it fill my soul and comfort me in such a soothing and wonderful way. I think I got the message that things had gone as they should.......I had been leaning into this knowing for so many months now, why then had I faltered in my trust on that?

Soon sleep came to me, and when I awoke I still felt the loving comfort that had been with me a few hours before, hmmm, guess I didn't imagine it after all. So padding my sleepy morning way to the computer room, I sat and opened up my inbox.

There before me was one of the most awesome letters that anyone has ever written to me. Totally confirming that by sharing my story, writing my book, had indeed been the right thing to do. And this was not someone who had seen the Bio Channel the night before either. She instead had been a woman who a short time ago had entered our store, and was actually rather abrupt with me concerning my book. I won't go into details but the crux of it was, I remembered her when she wrote to me, because of that incident. I must admit, she probably would have been one of the last people I would have pegged for ever getting back to me, yet here she was giving me such a treasure within her words!

Through soggy tears I then went to open up my online version of the "Daily Word" which I look at everyday before I start my normal routine. This is what it read:

Monday, January 10, 2011
New Dawn
The light of God dawns in me today.
Each morning is a sacred opportunity to begin life anew. Before I rise, I spend a moment in appreciation of and reverence for life. The fact that I've awakened tells me that life has yet another opportunity for me.
I walk my chosen path of righteousness, which means right thinking and right understanding. This day, I choose to share my joy and shine my light brightly as the light and love of God dawn in me.
I also see a dawning of greater spiritual understanding for all people. Though we may be on different paths, we are all expressions of God. Because the love of God lives in me, I share this love with others unconditionally.

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day.--Proverbs 4:18


For the outside reader, it may not seem like much, but to me, who had prayed long and hard before closing her eyes last night, that I be given some sort of knowing if was headed in the right direction or not.................this was more than enough to let me know. It is amazing how the Universe, - God - Creator, can answer us back in so many different ways, and yet if we are not "looking" how will we ever see? How many times in my life had I probably been answered and I was too busy looking for major signs, and not the small miracles that normal incidents in life seem to bring.

I may not have smiled on TV, as I know talking about God for the first time in my life to someone other than a close friend, and doing that talking on National TV, - was a bit emotional for me to say the least! But now I know for sure, that even through my tears, some will feel what I was in the greatest of LOVE trying to say.

Tonight I have much to be grateful for, new people crossed my path today in way of their emails and words. I have had hopes that sharing and giving back some of what my heart has processed over the past two years to others, might also help them along their own journey. I am getting glimpses that this has happened. Now I know that sleep will come easy and long tonight.

Thank you for allowing me to share, thank you God for showing me a few more miracles!

Good night.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Today is rather an unsettling day for me yet in a good way. During my coma, and NDE I was somehow led to know that I would be sharing my experience with many many people. I didn't really know what that meant at the time. At first I was bursting with energy and the feeling I had to tell everyone I came across about my wonderful experience and what all I had learned. Was this how I was suppose to do it? But later after settling down a bit, and also being told by family that they would commit me (only kidding) if I didn't calm down, I learned to let it all settle within my soul and let the natural course of things unfold around me.

Tonight my interview will air on the Bio channel. On the one hour program will be a segment of me, just talking about it all and how it has affected me and my life. How that happened over this past two year odyssey of mine (the Bio interview) is in itself a long story, but happen it did.

As I was leaving Atlanta, and flying home from my taped interview last April, all the insecurities that were somewhere inside of me came rushing to the forefront of my mind. Did I look foolish? did I say the right things? I cried too, in part because of the emotions of reliving it all again, and in part because I thought I had somehow let God or Spirit down in some way. I have prayed about this many times, and acknowledged the fact that with God guiding me, I must have said what was meant to be said. And then the guiding of the editing and production people would also happen as it was meant to be. Even knowing this though, I have still fallen victim to the normal insecurities of my soul.
So I now let go again, and know that the day will unolfd as it is meant to do. The appointed time will happen for my little segment and life will go on. I place my trust in knowing that all will be as it is meant to be. And if it appears foolish or ditzy, well heck, it will only be in front of a few million people, nothing to sweat about! :-)

But pushing those crazy little tidbits of insecurities aside, I get back to the strength in trusting in God, knowing that my heart and life are now being led, and that I was truly suppose to share the wonderful gifts and insights that I was graced to know.

The past two years have been for me a wonderful journey of sharing with and meeting new people. The very people who may of otherwise just come in and out of my life for an instant during the daily course of living. I wrote a book ( that in and of itself has been almost beyond my wildest imaginations)Yet now, comes the opening of hearts, the exchange of good feelings, and the warmth of souls as sharing occurs.

Yes I am so very blessed to have been given a second chance. I will not waste it with petty insecurities or hiding behind myself anymore. I place my trust in God who has given me the words, taken me by the hand and is leading down a path I have never traveled before. All is as it should be.

It doesn't get any better than that!