Today is rather an unsettling day for me yet in a good way. During my coma, and NDE I was somehow led to know that I would be sharing my experience with many many people. I didn't really know what that meant at the time. At first I was bursting with energy and the feeling I had to tell everyone I came across about my wonderful experience and what all I had learned. Was this how I was suppose to do it? But later after settling down a bit, and also being told by family that they would commit me (only kidding) if I didn't calm down, I learned to let it all settle within my soul and let the natural course of things unfold around me.
Tonight my interview will air on the Bio channel. On the one hour program will be a segment of me, just talking about it all and how it has affected me and my life. How that happened over this past two year odyssey of mine (the Bio interview) is in itself a long story, but happen it did.
As I was leaving Atlanta, and flying home from my taped interview last April, all the insecurities that were somewhere inside of me came rushing to the forefront of my mind. Did I look foolish? did I say the right things? I cried too, in part because of the emotions of reliving it all again, and in part because I thought I had somehow let God or Spirit down in some way. I have prayed about this many times, and acknowledged the fact that with God guiding me, I must have said what was meant to be said. And then the guiding of the editing and production people would also happen as it was meant to be. Even knowing this though, I have still fallen victim to the normal insecurities of my soul.
So I now let go again, and know that the day will unolfd as it is meant to do. The appointed time will happen for my little segment and life will go on. I place my trust in knowing that all will be as it is meant to be. And if it appears foolish or ditzy, well heck, it will only be in front of a few million people, nothing to sweat about! :-)
But pushing those crazy little tidbits of insecurities aside, I get back to the strength in trusting in God, knowing that my heart and life are now being led, and that I was truly suppose to share the wonderful gifts and insights that I was graced to know.
The past two years have been for me a wonderful journey of sharing with and meeting new people. The very people who may of otherwise just come in and out of my life for an instant during the daily course of living. I wrote a book ( that in and of itself has been almost beyond my wildest imaginations)Yet now, comes the opening of hearts, the exchange of good feelings, and the warmth of souls as sharing occurs.
Yes I am so very blessed to have been given a second chance. I will not waste it with petty insecurities or hiding behind myself anymore. I place my trust in God who has given me the words, taken me by the hand and is leading down a path I have never traveled before. All is as it should be.
It doesn't get any better than that!