So many months have passed. Yet the learning grows with each new day. My thoughts have taken many directions over those months, in a forward fashion to be sure.
I had been "told" while in my coma, that I would be sharing with many, and would find myself doing thigs I have never done before, with talents I did not know I had. That fact seems to be slowly becoming a reality now, and I watch in amazment and gratitude as it unfolds. Too much to write about here, nor the need to do so, but it has happened and I again give Thanks for what has been and will be.

Summer is here and my heart is blooming with so much. Each day is a gift that I treasure and tuck away inside my being, knowing that my store house of treasures is becoming very full. The wonderful thing is, each day is a treasure for us all, 24 hours to be shared with the universe and the ONE who made it.

Today is my birthday. Funny how that has lost meaning to me now somehow. For now I feel in many ways, that each day is like that special feeling you had as a child when your birthday rolled around. For a brief time we would feel loved, and special somehow, because the day was ours. Birthdays are magic for children, and now, for sure, every day is magic for me.

So.... Happy Birthday to me, and Happy day to everyone.....a day to celebrate being alive!

Well the new year has begun. The past few weeks have found me going over the journey of the past year, wondering what to do now with my journaling, my learning, and my growth. I have decided, for perhaps for the benefit of no one else but me, to try and put some of that past year into words.

I have never been comfortable with seeing my inner thoughts somehow become concrete in the form of written word. But having been out of my comfort zone for many months now, in many arenas, it seems to have helped give me the resolve to give it a try, to capture my journey, so that I may share with others. It is exciting and daunting, at the same time.

So happy new year to me, Thank God I have been given this extra past year of life. I give thanks and am grateful for what ever life I may still be graced to have.

And I say blessings to womever passes this way and is led to read my words here.

I may not have the answers, but I do have the Knowing, not faith, but the Knowing that we are indeed, - truly loved.

Tiny Miracle at Art Walk, Large Joy

I had not many thoughts when waiting on one our last customers of the day.
She wanted to look at items inside a few locked jewelry cabinets, and so I obliged. Finding her treasure the dark haired woman worked her way to the sales counter, and a husband who at the time was being waited on by my sister. He joined his wife while she paid for her purchase.

How the conversation began is gone to me now. So many people travel through the store each day, and this weekend was one of our busiest of the year with Art Walk just about to come to an end. It seemed as if the seconds stood still, but yet all transpired quickly. One comment led to another, and I found out, in one heart stopping moment, ... the man across the counter from me, had been one of the two paramedics that freed me from my car that fateful Nov. day.
What are the chances of that?

This man and his wife traveled almost 150 miles into the mountains to enjoy the day, they did not know me or anything about me. Out of all the stores, or people they could stop to chat with, it was us. How many people came and went through our store the past three days that we never did that with?.......Many, many. The town had been filled with tourists.

I cannot explain fully the intense emotions that came forth from somewhere deep inside myself. This man, and his wife, could have come into our store, purchased their goods and left, all of us never knowing that our paths had certainly crossed before.

So miraculous is the weaving of fate!

We exchanged stories for such a brief time, as they had to leave, and make the two hour drive back to the Springs. I had and still have so many questions.

He found out the dog he knew had been in the accident, and bolted after the crash, had been found. Also, that I had survived, for he never found out the outcome of either.

Just how do you thank someone who in the course of doing his daily job, helped to change your life forever? ( and also save it!)
They say they will be back in two weeks, oh how I hope so.

For one brief moment I could again see the weaving of lives and fate. What a wonderful artist the Creator is, moving us all as we need to be, and giving us the chance to "know" or not, by how we keep our spirit open to receive.

Thank you so much from this grateful heart. There is a reason this happened so hopefully there will be more to say about this encounter soon!

Monday Night and Thoughts of God

The words will come when they are meant to
Will come when you are near.
I will hear them in your whispers, silent whispers in my ear.

Quietly, you call to me,
I stop, and turn my head,
Somehow knowing what awaits my heart, to where I am being led.

I hear birds so sweetly singing, see a sky so dazzling blue.
Certain now my tomorrows will be dedicated only un to you.
You have opened up this grateful heart, to things both known and new.

Thoughts never acted on,
until that unexpected day
You bent down and you did whisper, You knew just what to say.

Finding out how much I can love
The person that I am,
was part of your gracious gift to me, part of your all knowing plan.

Going forward now with a peaceful heart, I can give that love to all.
Nothing I do escapes your seeing, all things both great and small.

Please take me where you want,
I will follow where you guide.
My heart an open vessel, where no doubts or fears might hide.

Somehow I have found these words,
and have finally found my voice.
It is to YOU and YOU alone, my heart does now rejoice.

You see into that heart,
what more is there to say?
With you inscribed inside it now, this child can never stray.


Thank you for my gifts,
. ..thank you for that very special day.

I don't know what is the greater frustration...wanting desperately to know what lies for us on the other side,....or having seen a glimpse of it and having to stay behind until being called once again to enter it's realm.

The tsunami is coming, I can feel it in my heart,.....I can hear the distant roar of the thundering mass,.........not water, but the universe,.... it will wash me away in it's awesome wonders.

My journey is only beginning.

I find I am like that of a small wide eyed child waiting for Christmas day to begin.
Each day is a new gift, a new present to open and share. So many magical gifts and miracles within each day.

Was I given a fresh new pair of eyes to see it all with?
I was given something, that is for sure.
Now I live my life in a state of constant gratitude.

So much love.

more nightime 5-14-09

I was "told" my heart would be filled.......but I had no idea to what extent.
I am humbled by HIS overflowing generosity.

It is truly amazing!!!

night time thoughts 5-14-09

I am learning how to dance again...my heart is learning how to soar!
Closing my eyes I let the music slowly carry me away.
The universe has taken my hand and asked me to dance.
It is a dance of love and I sing in unison to the music... with my heart!
Wow

I have never had the words before..... to say what is truly inside my heart.
Perhaps on this new journey of mine I will find them.

I can use them as stepping stones to find my way home.

Where I go next I do not know.......But my heart is packed and ready for the Journey :-)

My musings to the Universe

How many more tomorrows will I have?
How many more chances to be the person I think is inside my heart?
How many more mornings will I be able to have those few sweet moments of solitude to watch the day day begin?

How many more times will I stumble or fall yet I am still looked upon with kindness and patience, until I can walk upright forever?

How many more tears will I shed, or times will my heart be pulled under by the burdens this life seems to bring?

How many more times will I be LOVED completely.......before I fully understand?

Its a difficult thing to talk about when youve seen some of the other side. Though many would pass it off on some of those good drugs provided to me while in my coma, only I know for sure that it happened. Only I know for sure how it has changed my being.

I'm now trying to get some of the words out so that I may share some of that experience to others. Not one second of my life since then, has inwardly been the same. How to describe how that is????? But I am trying, and in the stillness of the night, or when I am so led, words and thoughts come to me, some I know, do need to be shared.

We all need to know that it is going to be "allright" what ever that means, to each of us.
My "allrightness" has come in the form of a peace and understanding beyond any known to me before. Did God finally show himself to me, ...well in a way - yes. Yet, it wasn't being shown, as much as it was to be a part of, the becoming ONE with. Feeling for the first time that I truly got a glimpse of understanding about what it means to be a part of that everything.
How totally cool is that?!!

So I will go on, letting it all unfold where it may. I use to feel so very protective about my private thoughts, yet in the knowing now, realize there are no private thoughts. My heart is open, I want to share that with any who may care to look within. I truly have left what I would call my comfort zone, by putting my heart on an open page, and yet by doing so I find a different kind of comfort, one that keeps me wanting more.........we will see.

Thats it, just a thought or two about where I am going with all of this. I must go now and start my day. Some musings from my recent journaling I want to put here, but will have to save that for another time.

Blessing and love to anyone who may ever somehow find this page
Dea

I think this is perhaps the first attempt at any type of poem since English class in High School. A few nights ago I couldn't sleep, and at three oclock in the morning when I was so over whelmed with what I guess was the "lightness of being", this is what I wrote. It is exactly where I was at the moment.

I Felt it Would Someday Happen

We bow to one another, you, softly take my hand.
We step into each others arms, and dance away In music, to an unseen land.

You look deep into my eyes, to see what lingers there.
You see my love looking back at you,- no worries- no cares.
I look into yours, I see exactly the same,
The Love ,The Joy, The Feeling with no name.

With your arms around me, we slowly drift across the floor
Our Hearts melt together, and I feel myself no more.
For we have come together in this dancing in the night,
Two hearts as one, slowly whirling, - whirling towards the light.

The universe, our dance floor, lit, by a million shining stars.
The music I think, must be angels, singing from afar.
I know now, I can go on forever, - this dancing with me and you.
I felt it would someday happen - always something that I knew.

Thank you for tapping me on the shoulder that wondrous and beautiful night.
I smiled, - said YES, - I knew that it was right.
I felt it would someday happen - always something that I knew.
Your love for me unending, as mine is now for you.
I felt that It would someday happen, always something that I knew.

Thank you God, for asking, thank you, through and through.
That I would someday dance forever, - knowing it would surely be with you.

Now I understand.

Words to my Soul / #1